"Handle with extreme prejudice."

@4 days ago with 1 note

"Obviously I can’t go to a homeless shelter. The people there can be a little too sexually conservative for my taste."

Hazel - 30 Rock

(Source: studio6h)

@1 week ago with 5 notes

"I’m imagining some very neighborly visits, sleepovers even. A medicine cabinet filled with a standing supply of some very expensive eyecream that you will never see me apply."

GCB
@1 month ago

"This wine is too sweet and fruity, more of a breakfast wine."

GCB
@1 month ago

"Me, paranoid? Well, that just confirms all my suspicions!"

30 Rock 
@2 months ago with 2 notes

"Don’t kid yourself. You’re never more than ten feet away from a transvestite."

Kinky Boots
@2 months ago

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

Lily Tomlin (via randominternet)

(via igor)

@2 months ago with 26 notes

"My outfit is very hardcore nineties Grace Jones fetish blow up doll."

Willam
@2 months ago with 1 note

"Let’s cut the crap, I know how you think. You lie, you cheat, you manipulate to get what you want. I’d admire you if you weren’t brunette!"

30 Rock
@1 week ago

"Hurry up and deliver that baby before they realize we’re not doctors."

30 Rock
@1 month ago

"If you do not sin, Jesus died for nothing."

Raven
@1 month ago with 2 notes

"If I ever make a doomsday device, I’m gonna put glitter on it!"

xndr
@2 months ago

"The path to knighthood is paved with strength and nobility. Not LSD and sideburns."

family guy
@2 months ago

"I reached under the bed for the whiskey bottle. Little freckles of blood dotted the sheets under my shoulder. Oh God, another tattoo? I pulled at my skin ‘till I could see the twisted ink. It was the Chinese word for ‘Celtic symbol’."

Tina Fey - Bossypants
@2 months ago

"There’s an opposite to deja vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit a place, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar."

Chuck Palahniuk   (via nucleic-acid)

(via igor)

@2 months ago with 4959 notes